1. Have any thoughts
Tea has now fused to all of my brain cells, so I rely on it to trigger any thought processes I might have. Granted, most of them are about tea, but that's fine.
2. Lift a dozen men at once
Yes, that's right, tea has given me super strength and a thirst for blood - I mean, tea.
3. Drive a tractor
Fun fact: if the name of a vehicle begins with the letter 'T' then you actually can't drive it without drinking tea first.
Sorry I forgot number four because it had been more than two seconds since I had taken a sip of tea.
Tea tea, tea tea tea tea tea. Tea: tea tea! Tea.