10 Jumbled Thoughts On Getting Home

I'm writing this the day after a long journey from Glasgow to London, during which I carried probably around 25% of my body weight including one big bottle of Absolut Rasberri, which I totally don't know about if Santa asks. Aside from the particular exhaustion followed by carrying that stuff (for the approx. fifteen minutes I was actually walking) and contorting myself in weird ways on a train seat for five hours (I like to switch between various frog-like sitting positions), I am also experiencing a range of important and varied feelings about being home.


Here is a stream of thoughts and feelings in list form (what else did you come to this blog for, really - pictures of me getting really muscly shoulders from carrying big bottles of vodka? STAY TUNED!).

  1. I wonder if I can actually become a super strong muscly person from carrying bags OR if instead I will just gradually sink into the ground and become a very flat ghost who died trying to carry stuff.
  2. MY PYJAMAS ARE SO GREAT, ALL HAIL MY PYJAMAS!
  3. I am feeling the strong desire to only use a very small bag to carry around very small things.
  4. Putting all my dirty clothes in the washing and putting all my stuff away is so satisfying. Everything is in the right place. Everything feels right. This is so good. I love! My! Space!
  5. My mum always seems to have some kind of surprisng consumable to show me. This time she has alcoholic dandelion & burdock (and I found two advent calenders in my room, tut tut mum, you should've got five thousand of them for my five thousand stomachs, I can't believe you're so rude as to only get two, I'm running away from home IMMEDIATELY).
  6. I always really enjoy travelling on the tube when I get back. I guess it's such a familiar thing and there's people everywhere who are obviousy from London and I dunno man, I just find the tube so welcoming on return. Love that comforting Transport For London branding! I still want to be a train guard officer person at a tube station so if any recruitment people from TFL are reading this: please help give job in exchange for large box of Jaffa Cakes.
  7. You don't know how excited I am to write blog posts. I'm so excited to write blog posts! I've pretty much just been making a few notes here and there while I've been away, so for over a week I haven't written a blog post (I'm so glad sheduling exists) and I am ITCHING to write 'em. I have so much time again. I've missed all the time I usually use to do creative things.
  8. The time and general atmosphere feels so different at home, where I am (mostly) the queen of my own domain and get to do what I want, whenever. I'm looking forward to eating a doughnut and watching fun puppy videos at two in the morning sometime very soon. Not that I couldn't have done that while away, but really I was dead to the wold by then. Hanging out with family members and looking at lakes and eating potatoes is apparently totally exhausting for me. Zzzzzzzzzzz.
  9. Since I was with Elliot all that time I also haven't been alone at all, except when I went to the toilet, and whilst I am pretty much fine with not being separated from him ever (except when his video games are making the most annoying bicycle bell noises - but that's not technically about him, unless he has secretly been a bicycle all this time), I love to be alone and bask in my aloneness. I can be absolutely unconscious about my natural bodily movements in such a complete way. I can hang upside down and feast on souls - I mean, uh, I can just be myself and take a nap at any time, you know?
  10. I admit that I enjoy complaining about London (excuse me, house prices, but what the heck do you think you're doing?), but when I come back I'm always like "Yes! I love you!" and I greet every Tesco as if it is my close, personal friend (the truth is, most Tescos think I'm annoying). I love seeing familiar landmarks like Big Bernard and The London Nose.

I love being home. I'm glad I'm home, and I intend to avoid (non-London) trains now for at least three years. If you'll excuse me, I have to go and lovingly consume an entire advent calender and feverishly support the great and excellent football team Arsenal/Spurs/AFC Wimbledon (delete as applicable).


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