I feel pretty rejuvenated this week. Somewhere between obsessively reading The Hunger Games and organising lists and things I have found all the excitement I have ever had for journalling and painting and sticking everything together. Last week I was talking about the unease of feeling all the feelings when reading a book, but this time they are all in the right place. I am sad and shocked and hopeful in all the little places in Katniss' story, and I have all the dread of reading a story full of terrible things, but none of it feels like aimless emotion with nowhere to go. And I realise that these books are letting me have my feelings, and that the book I was reading before was not letting me have my feelings. It was building them up without giving me anywhere to put them. Now I have a nice little shelf for them.
So The Hunger Games is my life at the moment, but with it comes a fierce need to consume and create. The effects of a good book can be intense. I've decided to try keeping up a steady stream of input and output. That sounds really mathematical or mechanical. You can't know for sure I'm not a robot. What I mean is that I'm trying to keep to a schedule. I've been watching one movie a day, and one episode of an anime a day. I do it in the morning. I keep a browser open on one half of the screen and whatever I'm watching on the other half. Then I use the browser to do whatever I want to do online that isn't too involved. I rarely watch much anime, so I really wanted to give myself an anime routine to force it into my system a bit. One episode a day builds up a lot! At the moment I'm watching Charlotte.
It's funny though, I feel so inspired and bright. I've always liked statistics and progression in a video game kind of way with reading and listening to music and watching TV shows, so I guess adding to a list is something that can push me pretty far. After all, that's a big part of why I blog every day. I know every post is another one tacked onto the sum of all my posts so far. It feels important, like I'm constructing a building piece by piece. What is that? Why do I love that?