Home Feelings/Owl Child

It's June already, which is amazing and weird and terrifying. I've been thinking about home comforts and the tactility of homeliness and the brain feelings when you know you can go get a cup of tea whenever and you can sit in whichever baggy item of clothing you like the best that hour and you know where everything is, every place you decided things should be in. I mean I'm really intensely interested in those feelings because they're some of the nicest feelings ever alongside going YES when someone says something that you agree with so hard, or when the best person gives you a special present that was perfect for you, or when you borrow someone's cardigan and you are warm and toasty and important enough to have things lent to you. I'm completely obsessed with what I am calling "home feelings".

I guess I'm kind of an introvert in that I can be alone for a long time and never get bored or feel lonely. I love being around people and bonding and being at parties and just generally spending time doing together things with people, but I always feel like I need to relax on my own, like that's more of a NEED to me that hanging out with friends although I enjoy both a lot. But I think this is why I'm so interested in the psychology, chemistry, philosophy, whatever, of all those particular feelings that home gives. Is it particular to this place I live in right now, or is it more of a "place I live in and have control over" type of thing? I don't know the answer because I've lived in the same place for 17 years which is the official same number as forever according to me as of right now.

I'm trying to figure out how to put my home into a box. I don't know if this is possible, but I want it to be. I feel like maybe the home feeling controls me, and I'd like it to be the other way round. But then again maybe it's just that actually I have nowhere to take my hypothetical home box. There is only here. Everywhere else is filled with other people and their things and their voices. I want to live inside my voice and I guess there's only one place I can do that at a time. Does any of this make sense? Home feelings are nice, but I just wish I didn't have to be home to feel them. I want them to be inside me all the time instead. Maybe it's possible. I mean, it's great trying to figure these things out. It's always amazing when I do, like finding a new world. Only the new world is your feelings. New and weird and very good feelings and understanding.


I had a good day of appreciating myself and my bedroom and immediate surroundings. My owl is like my baby. It's such a heavy owl and it smells nice and because of its weight it doesn't move/fall off my bed if I leave it by my pillow all night, so that's what I do. I love owl.

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