"restless and blood-filled"

I want my diary to be more honest and open and of-the-thought/stream of consciousness and more scrapbooky too. I want to post everything onto the internet even if it is embarrassing or I repeat myself or I feel really differently about something afterwards. It's a sort of exercise in revoking privacy in a sense, although obviously I can choose what I write in the first place. This outpouring of oneself is a thing I find really fascinating about the internet. Tumblr accounts and aliases and teen angst set free online. The fact that I attach my real name to these diaries changes things too. I wonder how my friends/people I know feel when they read about themselves or see drawings of themselves here.

I had a diary for a very brief amount of time at about 15 years old, in a little pink notebook adorned with cute animals and a little toy lock to ensure the utmost secrecy. My mum immediately read it and offered me advice about a boy I was sad about. I was humiliated and destroyed the notebook, vowing never to keep a diary again. I still feel a bit sick thinking about it. The emotional turmoil of teendom still feels fresh and stinging when I remember it. Mind you, I suppose 6 years ago wasn't very long ago.

It is interesting to think about how different my current diary is to that little pink one. I wish I still had it, but I suspect that if I still had it I'd wish I didn't.

So, in conclusion, diary goals:
  • force all of my feelings uncomfortably upon the internet
  • post everything regardless of embarrassment
  • be human
I went to see Josie Long's pre-fringe show at The Hen And Chickens with Mark and it was really lovely and she dropped a piece of paper and I gave it back to her and I love her

Shocking Rogue Trader scandal which is very relevant to my life as Matt Allwright's number one fan (see earlier diary entries)

Lists are fun

きゃりーぱみゅぱみゅ is an angel (look at me writing mangled hiragana)

"Chat with a stranger to make life better" is completely perfect advice

"Good stuff to listen to" - A very small list, but a good one nevertheless

Anime guru quest initiated (so far I quite like "Hell Girl" and "Tiger and Bunny")

In which I confess that I sleep in P.E shorts


Restlessness, metallic pleated skirt: The story of my life

What if I wrote Grimes/Corey Haim fan fiction?

Comet Gain are a cute band (my favourite Comet Gain song is "You Can Hide Your Love Forever")

I have to keep reminding myself that I am the best (it is very important)

"I'll gain their respect now. They like rap music." - One of my many catchphrases

My drawing of Grimes

This is a cute ghost hoodie character that I would like to do something with
 Future diary pages:
Peter Gabriel

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